I like to bury my head in the sand.  Sometimes. It is not part of my “regular” self.  It likes to come out and play when things flare up that remind me of childhood.  Usually in a fight or flight situation…I’d rather fight…get it all over with…and move on.  Most of the time. I don’t like things hanging out there.  Drives me bananas.

Take these medical issues for example.  I’d rather get it all done at once rather than having it drag on and on and on for what?  Almost a YEAR now.  Sheesh.  So after burying my head in the sand for a week or two I went and saw the hematologist yesterday and made a plan to go after the IVC filter that’s still stuck in me…one. more. time. Well, go see another surgeon who will look things over.  Not overjoyed.  But at least a decision has been made.  My head is out of the sand.  At least for now.

Seems like since school started things have gotten busy busy round here.  I’ve picked up with work.  Started my volunteer work at the girls’ school.  Kids come home with plenty of homework.  Laney’s dance has started.  Ava wants to join the band at school.  She wants to try bass.  So free moments are few and far between.  I find comfort in being busy.  I do.  And I do like it when the kids are gone…cause I can get a little more work done.

Here’s my layout from the speed scrap on Monday.

I hope you are having a pleasant week! ;D

Skits is sitting on the back of one of the couches staring out the window.  As we all predicted he would today.  He is lonely and depressed.  Waiting.  Waiting for two girls to come home and play.  He’s been with them all summer you see.  If I were a dog…I’d be doing the same thing.  I feel the same way on the inside.  I just can’t get away with acting like that!  Muahahahah!

So let it begin.  Activities and homework and activities…wait I already said that.  Gone are the lazy days of summer.  Gosh.  School starts early around here.  Sigh.  I sure miss ‘em!  Yes even when they fight!  Even then.

Seriously.  I’d like to be done with all this health…ehem, insert expletive…stuff.  I really would.  But I’m not.  And I’m tired of having to go through all these emotions and trying to write them down on my blog.  Cause I don’t want to.  I’m over it.  So over it.  I guess I could not write about it.  But then I think I might have another long hiatus.  Again.  And I don’t think I want that either.

I always have a good cry whenever traumatic or bad things happen.  It doesn’t always happen right away either.  It could be a week or weeks later.  Yeah.  I had that today in the doctor’s office.  One of the many doctors I see.  Only I got interrupted.  So I was thinking I may pick it back up again.  Bwahahahah!

I saw the hematologist today.  I didn’t want to.  I figured she would be upset that the filter didn’t come out.  I was right.  As in…she wants me to go back in again, to a different doc, and have that horrible, awful, no-good, very bad procedure done to me…again!  Did I say ‘again’ enough???

Do you ever get the feeling that life is being dictated to you rather than the other way around?  I’ve felt that way before.  I don’t like it much.  I especially don’t like it when it concerns my health and I’ve got all these docs that I’ve got to coordinate with…of course THEY won’t coordinate with each other…and get them all on the same page.  Which they NEVER are.  And I’m no medical expert.  Especially about this.  When they all say different things, it certainly doesn’t help.

If you ask me why I have to have the filter out…I guess the reasoning is because having a foreign body inside isn’t the best thing plus I will have to be on blood thinners for life if it stays in.  As it was put to me, “You don’t want that do you?”  Heh.

Meanwhile I was looking up information about IVC filters and found some good pictures.  Here’s basically what it looks like…

Here’s a medical article about it.  I don’t like medical articles much but it was interesting to me cause it was all about what’s inside me!  Anyway…there are some great photos in the article here.  There’s one of what it looks like inside your body. ;D

Ok.  That’s all I have to say at the moment.  I think more of my life took over and I can’t go and have the rest of that good cry.  Too many people need me and too many dang things to do.

I can’t stand the in between phase…when my brain says do a million things and my body says no freakin way!  Talk about frustrating.  If you are type A you know exactly what I am talking about.  I am overall better…Corey would point out…doing more than the day before.  It often doesn’t feel like enough.  Again…type A.

Meanwhile…I have done a couple of layouts.  Both speed scraps.  I don’t know if I am in love with the speed scrap concept itself…but I sure find myself doing a lot of them recently! ;D

Layout credits.

Layout credits.

…lists.  They are neat and concise and to the point…or they can be. ;D

So I was thinking of describing my hospital experience that way.  Oh and yes I know I said I wasn’t going to post until next week.  But I’m sitting here with nothing to do.  I haven’t slept in 2 days and using my computer is the only comforting thing right now.  Well maybe not comforting…but it takes my mind off pain and lack of sleep.  So here’s my list…not my bucket list…bwahahahah!  Just a warning…if this has typos in it…I haven’t slept in two days.  Night one…worrying about the procedure.  Night two…pain from said procedure.  Ugh!

1.  I got all checked in just fine.  But…they didn’t know what my INR levels were and they wouldn’t do the “surgery” unless they knew so we had to wait for my blood work.  That backed things up a bit.

2.  When the doc got in, there were no clots in the filter but some of the “legs” of the filter had turned up instead of facing down so he had to turn them around.

3.  When he tried to pull it out it wouldn’t come out.  It hurt like HELL!  It had adhered to the wall of my vein…as they often do if you leave them in too long.

4.  He worked on me for over 3 hours.  This is a procedure that “typically” takes 1/2 and hour.  I was awake for all of it except one short part at the end.  They sedated me at the end because it was just getting to be so much.  They had to give me A LOOOOOOOOOOOT of pain meds.  Yes.  It sucked!

5.  As you may know they go in thru my neck to get this thing out.  Well.  He ALSO had to go up thru my groin because he put a balloon up under it to try to dislodge it.  So I had two catheters in me.  Yes it was awful.  I repeat.  Awful.

6.  I was in a ton of pain.  Did I mention that?  If I didn’t (he he) then I am again.  I still am.

7.  I am alive.  Yahoo!  I would insert dancing but I can’t exactly do that right now.

8.  They had to leave the filter in there AFTER all that…and it will stay in me for life.  The surgeon is not going to try to get it out a second time.  So after all that pain and suffering…it is still in there.  Peh!

9.  Where do I go from here?  If my genetic tests come back negative then hopefully I’ll get off coumadin in a few more months.  Leaving the filter in has some risks but trying to get it out has more risks I guess…so it stays.  Hopefully this will all soon be but a happy memory. 

10.  Maybe I’ll sleep tonight.  Maybe I won’t.  But if I don’t get some sleep soon heads will roll!  If you ask Corey…they already are!

I think that’s all I want to share.  Or all that I should.  Given my lack of sleep.

Since I don’t usually like to post without photos…here are a couple from the beach the other day. ;D

What a blessed thing!  When you have had insane heat it is such a relief! ;D  The kids…specifically Ava…have taken to wanting to play out in it.  Laney likes to…as long as there isn’t thunder or lightning.  She’s terrified of both. ;D  I don’t really like them going out when there is lightning.  But I do want them to enjoy the rain.  I captured her out in it the other day.

I’ve told you before that when I get out the camera to take photos of the dogs Skits poses and Baxter runs away.  It makes me laugh.  You might wonder why I have more photos on my blog…cute photos anyway…of Skits and why I have layouts, and the kids do too, of Skits and not Baxter.  Same reason.  Better photos cause he poses.

The other evening Corey and the kids went outside to play catch in the front yard.  We have a window seat in the formal living room that the dogs like to perch in and watch the goings-on in the front yard.  I found the dogs perched there watching.  I grabbed my camera to capture it.  As soon as I returned Baxter ran away.  Skits turned and literally “posed”.  Here he is…

It never fails…I take my camera, no one cooperates, weather, sunlight, subjects (ehem, namely my eldest daughter), whatever!  I DON’T take my camera and everything is just perfect.  What is up with THAT?   Seriously.

We went to the dog park this morning.  It was so nice.  Cloudy. 62°.  A very nice break from the insane heat.  Everyone was in good moods.  Skits could actually run…and not be limping and whining from his “recent procedure”.  And I didn’t bring my camera.  Typical.

I do have some photos from yesterday.  I took the girls hiking on The Rock in Castle Rock.  It was hot but we went early and were mostly in the shade.  It’s not a bad hike but I’m still having days where I just don’t feel up to par.  That day was one of ‘em.  But I pushed myself and we made it! ;D

In other news…I will soon be selling my designs at My Life and Scrap!  Insert the Chandler Dance! ;D  In an effort to make everything current I am going to be closing my store here on my blog for a time and taking down my freebies.  Some of these products have been around for awhile and I want to do some updating.  Please bear with me as I update things and get things going over there at My Life and Scrap.  Meantime you can stop by my store at DSM and purchase some of my newer designs!  Thanks for all your support!

I think the girls were inspired when they saw this layout…

Because they both wanted to scrapbook and when I asked them what they wanted to scrap about they both said, “Skits!”

It could be because he is on our minds a lot because on Friday he got “fixed” and he was gone all day.  We sure did miss him and realized just how much he “entertains” us.  Even Baxter was depressed.  We all piled in the car late Friday afternoon to go get him…yes, even Baxter!

I’m writing this on Saturday and he is doing well but he is sore and stiff.  Poor dogger!  We love him so muchly!  We have to help him go up and down the stairs to get outside to the yard to go potty.  He is not so keen on doing stairs yet.  He is lying low and we are trying to get the kiddos to back off and let him be.  It’s hard cause we just want to smother him with love.  He is such an awesome dog! ;D

Here are the girls’ layouts…again, I helped Laney a little more than Ava.  I did both their extractions.  They chose all their elements and put them where they wanted.  The photos are their own.  All elements (except that moon) and paper are mine! ;D

Anyway…on to the layouts! Laney’s…

And Ava’s…

After almost a year…my Kia is finally fixed and running again.  Oh man is it ever nice not to be doing the one car thing!  Why so long you ask?  Well it needed a new engine…and they aren’t cheap!  Don’t ever buy a Kia.  Just sayin’.

So we drove my little suv over to Roxborough State Park today and went hiking.  So when I say back to normal I mean we are starting to do more and more outdoor adventures like we used to…before I got sick.  And it feels so good…AFTERWARD.  During we have to listen to the girls complain how horrible their lives are and they can’t take one more step.  Then when we get home they are like, “That was the best day ever!”  They make me laugh!  They were saying how much they have to write about over summer break when they go back to school.  In an hour they will be saying how bored they are.  Oh, to be a kid!